Event Planning

You know, I always love event planning.  I love picking a theme and creating all of the stuff to bring it to life.  There is no joy in planning this event.  None.  Why didn't we plan out our funerals like we talked about before?

My mom and your mom went with me.  I did not have to go into that horrible casket room like we walked in when dad died.  I was kind of freaking out about that so I'm glad I didn't have to go in there.  I knew what I wanted.  Something black and silver with a Darth Vader feel to it.

We sat down at the desk with the older guy at the funeral home.  We went through a list of things that had to be picked out.  The casket was first and I found exactly what I was looking for.  Perfect for your personality if that matters with these sort of things.  Several other choices were made including the worst guest book, obituary cards and thank yous.  Everything was SO old lady or farmer that the only thing that they had that would be anywhere close to you was these faded looking doves.  Sorry.  That's just what it had to be.  You didn't really seem to be into tractors or quilting so, doves is what you got.

Looking around the office and the whole home in general it was in desperate need of an update.  It felt old fashioned and like a prissy grandma's house.  Maybe that appeals to most of the clientele, but I guess we aren't exactly the typical visitors.  I don't know.

Then I had to sign the sheet to give them permission to embalm your body. "We actually did this last night." he said proudly.  I looked up startled, not realizing that things had happened so quickly.  Your mom started crying.

"They have embalmed him already?"  she said between tears.  I tried to comfort her by saying that is was probably best that they did it right away but honestly I was just making up shit.  What do I know about any of this?

I brought a poem that I liked to use in the little obituary books.  "It can't be very long!" he barked.

"What?"
"The poem can't be very long.  We have several you can choose from in a book here if you like."
Uhm... no. 

Here's what I picked:

This evening I had to start putting pictures together for your slide show.  Mom stayed with us last night.  Joey got up in the middle of the night and talked with her about everything that has happened.  He wanted to know how to help me.  Wow.  So grown up.

Tonight, Mom needed to go to work.  I really didn't want to work on the slideshow alone, going crazy and sobbing uncontrollably would probably not be productive anyway.  I called Tisha and they all came over and ate pizza and just hung out while I worked on it.  It helped just to have someone here.  Just to have the delightful, chaotic noise of family. 

When they left, I gave up hope of getting anything more done.  Joey retreated to his room and I held Sophie on the couch.

"We are going to miss daddy, very much aren't we?" she asked sadly.
"Yes."  I said with tears.  "I already miss him very much."
"Don't worry mama." she said getting me a tissue.  "It will be okay."

Thankful that are kids are the ages they are.  Joey is old enough to be responsible and help as an adult and Sophie keeps the wonder and beauty of life every day something I want to be a part of of.