It's my birthday month. God, how I miss you. My birthday was fine. Mother's Day was fine. *sigh* No, it wasn't. Nothing seems fine without you. I've heard and read so much about the first time of everything without you will be tough. Yep. It feels like part of me is gone, dead, buried with you.
The biggest miss? Sophie graduated from Kindergarten with a fist full of awards. Joey was a great big brother and the grandmas were there. You would have been so proud. You would have hated the ceremony though. I'm pretty sure it was about 110 degrees in there. I had swamp ass and swamp tits and swamp everything. I had to go and CHANGE before I went back to work. *giggle*
I've made it through the school year.
I've filled up my summer with stuff to do.
I've been in counseling for a few months now.
Counseling has helped. I was really haunted by that last day. She's helping take the trauma out of that memory. I mean, I'll never forget but seeing and hearing and smelling our last minutes together repeatedly, all day long was really starting to interfere with my ability to function.
So I guess that's what May has brought me. I can function.
There. I said it.
I can function without you.
And I hate every single minute of it.
