I'm Just Not Healthy

It is back to school time.  I miss you.  I want to tell you dozens of stories and watch your face as you approve of my Star Wars classroom.  I am exhausted and I am so incredibly lonely.

I feel terrible.  My blood sugar is insane and although I'm taking measure to improve my health I feel awful.  It's more than just physical.  It is really depression creeping into every part of my life.  Sundays are so hard that I just can't make it to church every time.  It feels like a weight on my chest most times lately.  Sitting there without you.  It is tough.

Worship hurts sometimes.  I love God.  I don't blame your death on Him.  Sometimes finding the strength to open up for worship is overwhelming.  It makes me feel vulnerable in an entirely new way.  Is that what I have to do to feel healed?  I don't know.

Spiritual, emotionally and physically...I'm just not healthy.

I've stopped counseling this summer and decided to spend that money on laser hair removal.  That seems healthy, right? ;-)