Yesterday after her dentist appointment Sophie saw another girl about her age getting her ears pierced and decided she wanted to do it too. I guess we started talking about it last spring but she never really seemed quite ready. Once she even said that she didn't want to keep the same earrings in for 6 weeks. *giggle* The picture shows her in tears, but only because the first one hurt. Not for long (she said 4 seconds) and after a few minutes of calming her down she was ready for the second. I was so proud of her. She is fearless.
Joey is in a terrible mood tonight. I don't know why. Just like always. I don't know why. I needed his help to get your monitor working and he just kept huffing and puffing the whole time. Later, I just knocked on his door to kiss him goodnight and he was curt, dismissive and mean. I don't know how I can do this without you. You seemed to have a better connection with him and I know you were so much more empathetic than I am. How? How do I do this? How do I connect with him? How do I show him how much I love him? How can I help him through days like this?
I need you to tell me its going to be okay. I need you to be the bridge. I need you to hold me.
My head feels like I am wearing a concrete helmet over it. My loneliness feels like a noose. My heart hurts.
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