Jason Said: The Stroke

I woke up.  I felt strange, but I wasn’t really sure what that meant.  I had felt so bad in the last few weeks, months even, that I wasn’t sure what to make of this new oddness.  I didn’t wake up alarmed, but something was off.

I was tired.  It was Sunday and I had things to do.  I took the iPad into the bathroom and sat down for my morning constitutional.  As I read news on the iPad I couldn’t understand it.  I mean, I could read the words but they didn’t mean anything to me.

I finished my business and thought I would go and get dressed.  I needed to get the church open and turn the air on.  It was August 17th (2014) and still pretty hot.  I went into the bedroom where Tracy was sleeping.  I touched her and she started talking to me.

I tried to talk to her but nothing worked.  I was saying words in my head but that wasn’t what I was hearing come out of my mouth.  Something was wrong.  Why couldn’t I speak?  I was trying and…nothing.

I don’t remember lots of details from the next few minutes.  Tracy asked me if I was messing with her.  A few times.  I wish I was.  She yelled at Joey, who brought the phone to her and she called 911. 

They helped me get to the chair in the living room.  I could walk.  I was wobbly, but I could walk.  Something was strange at the Circle K and I couldn’t explain it.  The paramedics arrived and finally I was able to speak my first few words.  “I feel fine.”

I didn’t think I had experienced a stroke.  I could walk.  I just showed them that I could say words now, although it was weird that I couldn’t for a while.  I wasn’t paralyzed or laying on the floor twitching like I’d heard some stroke victims do.  I was fine.  Well, I mean…I was sort of fine.

I was at Parkland Hospital soon.  They said they couldn’t do anything because they weren’t sure when the stroke occurred.  I was off to Barnes Jewish in St. Louis.  The ride was awful.  The stretcher was uncomfortable.  It wasn’t just uncomfortable, it was awful.

After an incredibly long drive and an incredibly long wait in the ER at Barnes Jewish I was finally placed in a room.  I had a roommate.  Actually I had a parade of doctors and their students talk to me.  They all asked the same questions.  “What’s your name?  What’s today’s date?”

I didn’t always get them right.  That was weird.  My mom came up with friends that were at her house for the weekend.  She couldn’t stay long because they had stuff to do.  That was fine.  She was super worried and it was probably best.  Tracy talked to me, but I wasn’t really up to conversation.  She had to leave around ten.  She was really tired.  I don’t think either of us got much sleep that night.

Everyone told me that it was a mild stroke and that I would recovery.  They talked about therapy and told me that my heart’s ejection fraction was really low.  Between this day and the car accident a few weeks ago, it seemed that perhaps my health had crested and I was fighting a whole new battle.

To me, it was like I was just struggling to soft land and not crash.

Read Tracy's story.